


Face Yourself or Be Damned (aka Jason gets de-aged and there's a lot of angst)

by StoryBookMuse



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: De-aged jason, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-08 19:08:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4316280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoryBookMuse/pseuds/StoryBookMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason Gets de-aged by the Witch Boy and is forced to return to the Bat Family for help to break the spell. He has to face a few of his own demons while he's at it and come to terms with his own feelings. It's a story of personal growth and maybe falling in love a little.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work has been revised from the original, but I feel it's for the better. I hope you enjoy :)

Acid rain poured down from the sky over him and the rest of Gotham like it was trying to drown and burn the whole city alive. Or maybe that was just Jason's luck, shitty as always on an even shittier night of his stupid, shitty life. He could hardly see a thing between the dark black clouds and the storm raining down around him, but he knew the road well enough that sight wasn't an issue. Neither was the blood splattered on his face and drenching through his clothes or the sharp aches spiking all over his body; that had gone numb from shock and the cold about an 20 age-long minutes ago. If he could just stay conscious until he reached the gate, maybe he could survive.

He could almost see it up ahead; black wrought-iron gate looming like enormous gothic spikes guarding a slightly overgrown lawn and an eerie white manor hidden just behind the rising glades. Funny, almost, how spooky it looked in this light. Normally, it looked like any other hoity-toity rich kid palace. Maybe it was just the mood lighting good ol' Gotham dished out tonight...or maybe he just hated the place that much after all these years. Or both. It wasn't welcoming either way and even mortally wounded he almost considered turning back. What would they say when they saw him? What the Magician bastard had turned him into? Jason almost cracked a spiteful smile when he imagined the frozen shock on Bruce's face when he would finally open the door and see him. It'd be their very own sick and demented blast from the past.

But the pain- not the physical barrage of screaming muscles he was enduring now, but the emotional, sick to your stomach and sick in the head kind- would be unendurable after the initial shock when all the questions and all the tears and screaming matches would begin. It was almost worth dying to avoid. Unfortunately, Jason was one of the few people who actually knew what it was to die...

There was nothing on this earth that scared him more. Not even painful Batfamily reunions under the, er... _special circumstances_ he happened to have at the moment. As the gate and the manor creeped closer and closer, he resigned himself more and more and willed himself to numb everything; no pain, no emotions, no panic...just get this over with. That's what he tried to tell himself anyway, as he finally stumbled into the cold, black bars that were the gate to Wayne Manor. His heart beat inside his chest erratically and he fought (and failed to resist) the painful urge to swallow sheepishly. He could do this...he  _had_ to. Just- just reach over and  _push_ , he told himself sternly. Only, his hands shook as he reached out and the bars felt like ice to his already numb hands. He was weak, unbearably  _weak_ right now and it made every muscle burn like fire as he put his whole weight into pushing the damn thing open. It was pure luck that a deafening clap of thunder masked his scream of pain, and thank god for the rain too for hiding the blistering salt water that seeped down his cheeks from the effort -not just the physical kind.

He pushed and he screamed and every muscle protested, but finally the gate squeaked loudly and began to inch open. How long had it been since anyone had actually used the damn thing? he wondered bitterly before collapsing into the mud and grass. That's what he gets in a family that only remembers how to use secret entrances.

Nevertheless, he had to keep going. He had to reach the front door, it was just up ahead. Jason gritted his teeth determinedly -and also to block a scream from erupting- as he attempted to push himself up. His arm trembled from the exertion before quickly collapsing again, leaving Jason face first again the cold, wet mud and gravel. He shamefully whimpered in pain before deciding that standing up again was hardly an option. Still, he had to keep moving, he couldn't give up yet!

With a growl of determination, he planted his elbows into the gravel and pushed forwards with his numb, useless legs. He wasn't proud of it, but crawling was his only chance now. The rain pelted him mercilessly at this point and the rocks were sharp and painful against his belly; it seemed that every power in the universe was trying to stop him. Almost there, just a few more feet he labored until finally he brushed his fingertips against the stone steps. It wasn't fun, but it hurt less than rocks and it was more dignifying than blood and mud- which he realized he was trailing over every step. Good, he smiled defiantly through the pain. Good, they could have fun washing the stain of him out of their lives again.

The doorbell was just a foot away now, all he had to do was reach up- fuck, he choked, yanking his arm back to his chest, gasping in pain. He couldn't reach that high without hurting himself more. He shuddered hopelessly against the cold, bones creaking oddly inside his body as he did, before he braced himself and reach up again. He didn't get to the doorbell, but he did manage to catch the knob. With a fierce smile -or grimace, whatever- he fought to pull himself up and screeched in pain as his legs finally wedged up enough to support his weight. At this angle, it was easy now; he reached for the doorbell and pressed frantically once, twice, three times before holding fast to the door frame to keep from falling again. 

He heard footsteps from inside now coming closer -more than one, from the sound of it- and a confused, muffled voice saying "It's 2 in the  _morning_ , who comes to the door at 2 in the  _morning?_ "

Jason choked out a rough laugh. Boy, did they have a surprise. As the door opened, it was Alfred's face that peeked through the crack. He seemed confused at first, when his eyes drifted down to Jason's bloody, mud-covered silhouette. Confusion quickly morphed into alarm, however, when he saw the tattered yellow cape drenched against his skin.

"Master Timothy, get inside this instant! What happened to y-" Jason cut him off with an angry snort before lifting his face up to where Alfred could see. 

"Does it look like I'm the Pretender?" he wheezed softly, glaring to the best of his ability. Alfred appeared to be frozen in shock; he wanted Bruce to be the one opened the door to have that reaction, but still. At least  _someone_ did.

"Alfred, who is it?" a voice called out in concern before turning into a shadow looming just behind the old butler. Jason grinned when he heard it; he'd recognize that voice from a mile away.

"G-Golden boy," he huffed out, when he saw Dick's face at last. "Long time no see." Dick too ceased all movement- all signs of life, really, when he zeroed in on Jason's broken form. 

"J-...Jason," he whispered finally, so quiet that the sound was almost lost to the downfall of the rain. "You're..."

"Dying," he cut off with a frigid shiver. "No time to exp-plain."

"Master Jason, you're... you're so  _young_ ," Alfred choked up, reaching up to cover his gaping mouth. It looked like his eyes were starting to water as well, but that was probably just the rain.

"I-" of course he knew that already, god damn it. But how was he supposed to be spiteful right now when all he wanted to do was frantically apologize and hide from the old man. "I know. Long s-story," he replied uncertainly. Dick, who suddenly seemed to retrieve the ability to move, pushed passed Alfred and bent down immediately to throw one of Jason's arms around his neck and lifted him to his feet. Boy that was going to leave one hell of a stain on his emaculate fucking shirt. He would have laughed, but was incapable of doing anything except whimpering in pain. Once he was more or less back on his feet, Alfred moved quickly aside to allow them both back in.

"I'll take him to the cave," Dick informed in a hushed voice. Alfred nodded firmly and closed the door.

"I'll call Master Bruce, then I shall retrieve the first aid supplies and meet you down there," Alfred replied quickly before disappearing into the hall. Jason smirked softly as his head finally began to droop from heavy exhaustion. Dick pulled him closer and let him rest his muddy head against his shoulder.

"Stay awake if you can," Dick pleaded quietly. "We'll take care of you, I promise." Jason would have snorted if he had the energy, but since he didn't, he chose to let his eyes droop shut and feet drag as much mud and dirt and blood along the carpet as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

Sleep was not what you would call the 10-20 minute fragments of passing in and out of consciousness. The first couple of flashes included  being dragged down into the darkness of the Bat Cave and fighting every urge in his body that told him to bolt. The next time he woke up, it was under blinding flourescent lights and surrounded by white tiles; Dick was struggling to hold him up in the showers and wash away all the blood and dirt, but the stuff was everywhere. To be honest, Jason hadn't even felt the water pelting against him until the feeling started returning to his body. It was a blessing to be warm again, he remembered very briefly thinking as his head lolled shamelessly against Dick's sopping wet shirt. Unfortunately, the return of feeling to his limbs meant the return of even more blinding pain; the dull throbs that were all over his ribs and chest, arms, legs, back, and  _face_ even suddenly lit his nerves on fire like some kind of massive branding iron. His resounding scream echoed across the tile all the way out into the depths of the cave.

The next thing he knew, he opened his eyes to darkness and he couldn't seem to move an inch. He whimpered and thrashed his head defiantly from side to side, but he just felt too damn heavy. His tongue was like lead in his mouth and no matter how much he struggled, his arms and legs stayed fastened by his side. He groaned and choked angrily before Dick's face suddenly materialized directly above him. It was lovely, as always, except for a darkening bruise at the edge of his cheek, just above his jaw. What the hell?

"Sh, shh, Jaybird, calm down," he murmured, placing a cool, comforting hand across his forehead. Jason jerked his shoulder trying to get away and Dick's expression turned almost heartbroken. 

"I'm sorry, but we had to strap you down," he whispered again, stroking his forehead tenderly. "You keep fighting us, you wouldn't take your medicine," he explained gently as he could. Oh. Well at least that explained the bruise on his cheek now. He tried to mumble some sort of apology, but his tongue was still too thick due to whatever drug they used to sedate him. Dick seemed to understand though and offered a pained smile back at him. Jason growled unappreciatively, but passed out again before he could tell the bastard to keep his pity to himself.

The next time his eyes opened, it was to the sound of a roaring car engine tearing into the cave through the waterfall entrance. Jason moaned softly as his hazy vision swam, electing to close his eyes again to the sound of car doors slamming and an urgent, familiar voice half-shouting "Where is he?!"

The next two or three times he regained semi-sentience, he could only process bits and pieces of every few sentences that were spoken. He could tell that there were a lot of people there now. Perhaps even the whole damn family. He should probably feel honored, but all he felt right now was weighted and sleepy.

"It's him, Master Wayne. The blood sample confirms it, he's _our_ Jason-"

"No. No, this Jason isn't ours. He's too-...he's the same age he was when h-he-"

"It's possible he's from an alternate universe, or perhaps misplaced in time? Either way, if we send him back to that place, he'll just die anyway."

"Shut _up_ , Damian."

" _Tt_ , I was just trying to  _help_."

Jason, if he could have, would have rolled his eyes. Fucking brat. Fucking family. If only he could set them straight, he could just  _explain_ to them that it was just some asshole sorcerer that cursed him a little bit. If they could just kill the bastard, he'd get his body back and he'd be out of their carefully shampoo'd and conditioned hair in a second. Too bad killing wasn't in their precious moral agendas. Two days here and he'd go out and hunt the Magician down again himself. If only they would stop arguing so he could get a few minutes of  _sleep._

 _"B-Bruce_ ," his voice was only a quiet, labored whisper, but every single voice halted instantly. Jason cracked a triumphant smile before sighing and letting his head fall back to stare up at the cave ceiling once again.

"Jason?" Bruce called back reluctantly. Jason hummed as his vision blurred, unconsciousness pulling him back into its clutches. " _Jason_?"

" _Jason_!"

His eyes shot open once again, hours later and this time, his mind had cleared significantly. The pain was still there, but it was reduced to a quiet dull throb that made his body feel like one big sore. It still stung like hell to breathe, though; every breath was reduced to a soft, shallow wheeze of air.  Shit. That probably meant his lung was punctured...again. Sheesh, that magic bastard really was fucked up...he must have gone through great pains to replicate the exact injuries from all those years ago. But Jason wasn't going to think about that now.

He wriggled slightly and felt the soft brush of a fleece blanket rub against his skin as he did. Oh- he blinked in surprise. This had to be Alfred's handiwork; nobody else would be this considerate. Or they'd be too wrapped up the the turmoil of the whole situation to think of it, anyway. At least the he wasn't numb or shivering with cold anymore; he'd have to thank Alfred later. He wiggled again and this time, willed his fingers to move and was triumphantly able to curl them into a loose fist. Good sign; that meant had general motor control again, he realized with relief. Well- sort of, anyway. Unfortunately he could still feel the binding cuffs around his wrists and ankles that held him fast against his gurney. Great. Fuck...That meant he had to call for help from the Bat Pack. But then again...feigning sleep until someone untied him sounded tempting. Nah. The odds of that happening when the whole lot of them were spooked like this were less than zero. Maybe he could pretend as though he'd just woken up and play the whole thing off?

Yeah. Yeah, that sounded reasonable. Best make this as painless as he possibly could. 

He closed his eyes to calm himself down before taking a deep -deep as a punctured lung would allow, anyway- breath and groaning softly as if he was trying to break back into hazy consciousness. Like clockwork, he heard a few sharp intakes of breaths, the oddly resonant squeak of a chair someone subsequently jumping up to their feet. For a moment, they all hesitated, making Jason nearly roll his eyes in frustration. One more nudge, he decided before inhaling a sharp, labored breath through his teeth (he really was putting on a hell of a show) and choking out a pained " _Fuck_ ," underneath his breath. Of course everyone there could hear him, they were all trained to have sharp ears even if the silence wasn't deafening all around them.

Ah, he smirked when he heard footsteps rushing toward him at last.

"Jason?" it was Dick again, peering hesitantly over him with those big, bright, infuriatingly concerned eyes of his. It wasn't fair to flash those big blues at him like this when he couldn't bring himself to look away.

"H-" his voice cracked when he tried to respond. He made a face at himself and didn't miss it when Dick's lip twitched in response. Jesus, he didn't need this right now. "Hey Dickhead," he croaked out, ignoring the whole incident. 

"Hey Jaybird," Dick replied with a kind smile, threading his fingers through Jason's hair and stroking gently as if to comfort. The hell? He hadn't done this since they were fucking _kids_ \- oh. Right, he remembered in defeat. It must be hard for Dick to see him like this... but shit, it was a freaking nightmare for Jason, being trapped and, and fucking  _vulnerable_ like this. Jason cringed and he must have made some kind of face, because Dick snapped his hand back apologetically.

"So where is everybody?" he joked half heartedly to escape the discomfort.

"Tim and Dami-" god, _'Tim and Dami'_? he thought in disgust. Did he have to nickname every fucking person on the planet? "-are asleep upstairs. The girls all went home, and Alfred went to run a few errands." 

"Ah. And you just volunteered for babysitting duty then?" Dick smiled at the jibe and shook his head slowly.

"Something like that, I guess." Jason grimaced and nodded silently. For a moment, he couldn't even bring himself to look up at the older man.

"Well...You gonna let me up?" he diverted the tension quickly with a strained smile. Dick huffed a laugh in response, but before he could say anything, they were interrupted by the voice Jason least wanted to hear.

"No, Jason." Jason stiffened and recoiled uncomfortably, causing his restraints cut into his wrists ever so slightly. Oh. So that's why Dick hadn't mentioned Bruce. Go figure.

"Bruce," he murmured reluctantly, failing to find the courage to look at the man. Come on, come on, don't be a coward, he tried to tell himself defiantly. But right now in this broken, feeble form in this dark place he had never wanted to return to in front of every pair of judging/sympathetic eyes he couldn't stand to meet- every hair on his body was on end and if he weren't strapped to a fucking gurney he would already have bolted. Dick made a face in Bruce's direction before straightening up in a challenging pose.

"Back off, Dick," Bruce warned, still  mercifully out of Jason's line of sight. "I need to talk to him. We need  _answers_ -"

"We  _need_ to help him!" Dick protested -or  _whined_ , almost, Jason thought privately to himself. If he were mentally still 15, he'd find it endearing, but at the moment, he was so nerve wracked that it was hard to focus on anything except for Bruce's harsh tone. He could almost perfectly picture Bruce's grim, stoic face, gritting his teeth and steeling his eyes just -not quite intentionally, but purely out of habit. 

Bruce sighed, and Jason could almost hear him pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Dick, I know his current... _appearance_ -" Jason smirked bitterly at just how carefully Bruce had said it, "is emotionally compromising, but after everything he's done-"

"Fuck off! If Jason had come to our door on a normal night, you know you would have helped him in a heart beat!"

He could hear Bruce growl in frustration now; Dick better steer clear, otherwise B would go full on Batman mode on him. "Dick," he grunted in warning, voice darkening ever so slightly. Woah, danger zone approaching. Dick stuck his chin up defiantly before Jason decided he had endured enough.

"Stop,  _stop_!" Jason snapped loudly, causing Dick to turn those shocked, big blue eyes back over towards him. Jesus, did he have to look at him like that?

"I don't need you to  _protect_ me, Dick. If you can't handle seeing me like this, then  _leave_ and let the grown ups do the talking," he spat perhaps a bit too harshly. Dick blinked twice, probably unsure of how to react to that. After all, Jason had been pretty nasty... and not to mention the touch of ironic humor he added -whether to diffuse the tension between the two or just to distract himself before he started freaking out, he didn't know.  _  
_

"Never thought I'd see the day when you sided with Bruce," Dick finally replied with a forced, hollow laugh. Jason froze and blinked in surprise. _Oh_. That...that was hardly the response he expected. But sure, given their history, Jason had never been one known to side with Bruce on anything, even when he was actually 15.

"You should see his face, Jay," Dick continued, voice trembling as he looked towards Bruce's direction and back again. No. No, he didn't have time for this, he couldn't handle the endearing shit right now.

"I-... j-just help me sit up so I can talk to him before he freaks the hell out," Jason demanded half-heartedly with a grimace.

"Leave him tied, just push the back up into a sitting position," Bruce ordered quietly. 

"Yeah, I know, B," Dick rolled his eyes bitterly, before bending down and slowly propping Jason's gurney up. Jason's heart started racing unvoluntarily in his chest and he tried very, very hard not to panic as he was raised. In less than a second, he'd see Bruce again. In less than a second, he'd see that hard, unforgiving face, judging him for everything he had ever done before he was assaulted with "What Happened"s and "What did you do, Jason"s. As he heard the final click settle into place, he took a deep breath in preparation before finally bracing himself enough to open his eyes and face the man at last.

"Jason," Bruce sighed, sounding incredibly exhausted and -was...that a tone of  _relief_ he heard? No. No, couldn't be. 

"Yes," Jason breathed softly, repeating the response he had given on the rooftop so long ago during their first official reunion. He was surprised when the gaunt, unforgiving face he was expecting in return...the one that Bruce had sported that day that had forever burned itself in Jason's memory, was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Bruce stood there in front of the computer chair he had vacated moments before and just looked... _tired_. He wore his same old Batman uniform, cowl down, draped behind his back and blended in with his cape. His hair, usually either pristine or matted down due to the mask, looked practically  _haywire_. There were deep, dark bruises under his eyes that meant he'd had even less sleep than usual and his mouth was slack in exhaustion. But that wasn't the worst part; his  _eyes_... they were lined, even more so than Jason remembered and they were  _sad_. _Heart broken_ , even. Jason's heart fluttered painfully and he grimaced; he would have preferred the cold expression over this one...any day.

No one spoke for a moment afterwards. Bruce and Jason simply stared at each other in silence. Dick stood by Jason's side warily with his palm pressed comfortingly against Jason's shoulder, like some kind of faithful watchdog that Jason didn't ask for. He chose not to pay it mind, though...not when he could hardly speak because his throat welled up painfully as he looked on at Bruce. Damn it...

"I know what this- what _I_ look like right now and-... Shit. You _know_ I wouldn't have come here if it weren't a matter of life and death, Bruce," Jason finally forced out, blinking back his burning eyes. Bruce surveyed him warily and nodded.

"Okay," he replied quietly before sitting - _collapsing_ , almost- back into his chair as he prepared to listen. Jason took a deep, raspy breath and ignored the sting in his lung the best he could before he began.

"It was a magician," he started, swallowing thickly. "A sorcerer that I encountered while I was trying to pass through here on the way to Central City. I found him because a source of mine met with me and told me about a break in attempt at one of my old haunts. At first I thought it might be a standard robbery, or  _you_ guys even, but-" he hesitated, thinking back to the dark warehouse where he found a bloody crowbar strewn under the sole working light in the place.

"But?" Bruce urged on calmly. Jason gulped quietly and inhaled sharply.

"My guy told me that the person who broke in never left. Been there three whole days. At the time, I thought it was probably just a squatter, but I had to be sure someone wasn't trying to investigate me or steal my shit or something."

"And it was the magician?" Bruce hummed, frowning thoughtfully.

"Yeah..." Jason cast his eyes away, unable to look at Bruce as the memories replayed themselves in his head like a movie. "There was a light on...and I found a bloody crow bar just sitting there-"

"Christ," Dick swore under his breath, withdrawing his hand to scratch his head while he listened. Jay tried his best to ignore the man's worry.

"So you know, then I started to think  _Joker_ ," Jason carried on hesitantly. "Someone was definitely trying to mess with me anyway. So I got my guns out and started searching for the bastard. I looked for like, 20 minutes before he started laughing."~

 

_"So this you're the formidable Red Hood, eh?" Jason whipped around to find a shadowed figure standing not ten feet behind him. How the hell did he-_

_"I was wondering if you'd ever show. I smelt the stench of trauma on this place a mile away and thought I'd have a little fun." He grinned, showing off sharp, grotesque teeth. The figure was confoundingly small... shorter than Jason himself, anyway, and his voice was unnervingly child-like.  
_

_"And_ **you're** _a stranger in my warehouse_. _You should know I don't like people rifling through my stuff." Jason sniped back sarcastically._

 _"Oh, now, now," he tsked. "I wouldn't call me a stranger. I'm a....family_ **friend _,_** _" the small silhouette offered silkily._ _  
_

_"If you know my family, kid, then chances are you're not a friend," Jason glared from beneath his hood. "Now unless you want to eat bullets for dinner, then I suggest you leave and take whatever issues you have **away from**_ **me** _!"_

_"Oh, you're no fun," the figure whined, tilting his head in a pout at Jason. This was definitely just a child, Jason decided; child or not, though, he was an intruder. Possibly one with superpowers and a vendetta against the Bats._

_"And you're not a friend, nor are you welcome here. Get out!" Jason snarled, whipping his pistols up instantly to aim at the intruder's forehead, intending only on scaring whoever was taunting him from the shadows._

_"Now, now, Red, let's not be hasty," the kid chuckled, leaning out enough to have light grace his face. He **was** just a boy, probably around 10 or 12 it seemed, but... deathly pale and shrouded in black garments and dark, shining scarlet eyes. Jason's hackles prickled on his neck at the sight of him. Should he know this kid, this...whatever he was?_

_"No. Let's," Jason growled before pulling the triggers (aiming carefully about a foot away from the intruder as a warning) two, three, four whole times. The creature grinned his ugly smileand snapped his pale, bony fingers. Instantly, the pistol in Red Hood's hands ignited with a burning heat and stung his hands, forcing him to drop it and watch as it sizzled and disappeared into darkness. He snapped his eyes back up to the intruder in alarm; this guy, this... **kid** was a sorcerer.  
_

_"You can't possibly hope to defeat me, boy, I am **quite** out of your league," he taunted in amusement. Jason frowned- **boy** , the brat called him... how old is this kid? Was he even a kid at all?  
_

_"Fine. I don't need guns to tear your head off," he grunted back menacingly, ignoring the prickly, unsettling chill running down his spine and launching himself toward the brat. He didn't wait to start wailing on him, letting his fists pound into the witch-boy's pale little face again and again and again. It was only when he heard and ethereal laugh that he froze.  
_

_"That tickled,"  the intruder giggled, setting Jason's teeth on edge. He glared down at the boy expecting a beaten, bloody pulp, but to his surprise all he found was a burlap sack of sand in his place.  
_

_"What **are** you?" Jason spat in frustration.  
_

_"What are **you**?" he countered childishly, grinning that ugly smile down at him again. Jason hissed in annoyance before pushing himself back up to his feet to face the cheeky magician bastard._

_"I'm surprised you don't know, actually. I thought a bat-brat like you would be a know-it-all like the others," he smirked, making Jason seethe with resentment. "I'm just a humble lord of chaos, that's all."  
_

_"So what do you want with **me**?" Jason snapped irritably, hiding the wave of cold fear in his blood. Lord of Chaos? One of Doctor Fate's baddies? What the **fuck** is a lord of chaos doing in Gotham? The Trickster smiled widely and clapped his pale white hands in glee._

_"I was looking for a play mate, Mate. And you've proven to be a perfect candidate!"_

_"Candidate," Jason scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I'm not one of your little play mates. I'd sooner murder you where you stand than do **anything** with you."_

_The Magician pursed his lips and tsked disapprovingly. "Now that's not nice. But I didn't ask for your permission, did I?"_

_"I don't want to play you're games, asshole" Jason retorted tiredly. Might as well stall while he thought of some other way to kill him. "Why are you doing this?"_

_"Exactly what I said," Trickster urged excitedly. " **Who are**_ **you?** _" Jason frowned in confusion; was the idiot casually trying to ask his name or just being a metaphorical dickhead?_ **  
**

_"See, I know exactly what I am; a mischevious, devious little fiend who wreaks havoc on the mortals for fun. But I do it for their own **good** , you see; teach them to **live** a little," he explained with a snarky grin. "But do you know who  **you** are?"_

_"The hell are you talking about?" Jason growled, more confused than ever. Messes with mortals? Was he immortal then? Was he dealing with some immortal fucking god-like creature?_

_"The way I see it," the witch-boy continued smugly, taking a step forward. Jason, in turn, unintentionally scattered two steps back. The Trickster smiled brightly. "From what I've learned of your poor, painful little life, is that your are one lost puppy. You define yourself by a teensy little traumatic experience and you're just so_ ** _angry_   **and  ** _lost_** _." Jason went cold at the intruder's words. He **knew**... he knew what happened?  
_

_"Teensy- are you talking about...I **died** , how was that teensy?!" Jason huffed frantically, heart beating erratically in fear now. This thing...this sorcerer knew about him. About everything?! "I went through  **hell** -"_

_"Oh please, you know nothing of hell, Jason Todd," the Magician hummed in amusement. "You just make yourself miserable, define your life and who you are off of one traumatic experience and block everything else out. Batman and Grayson and even your replacement tried to help you get over it, but NO! No, you just stuck to your little grudge and wouldn't let go of your misery. How boring! I'm just here to help you figure out who you really are underneath all that petty fury and despair and hate."_

_"Who are you to try and change who I am?!" Jason hissed, habitually reaching for his gun, if only to make him feel a tiny bit safer. "My death, my hatred for them, it's a part of me, but **I** get to decide who I really am. They don't define me!"_

_"Then why do you cut them out?" he asked, genuinely curious as he stepped forward again. Jason held his ground this time, determined and defiant not to give in to fear, or to anything this creature thought it knew about him. "You could be so much more, but you cut them out of your life. You're not afraid of them..." it mused thoughtfully. "Perhaps you're afraid of who you would become if you let them in. Is that it?"_

_Jason choked at the thought. Yes? ...No! Fuck, he didn't know. They don't define him. Bruce...Dick, Drake, Damian; they don't have anything to do with him._

_"Oh, but they so do," the Trickster smiled. Jay's eyes widened in shock;That monster could read his mind?! The thing just cackled wildly before raising his hands. "I know just what to do with you now, Jason Todd." Jason scrambled back and turned away, attempting to bolt the hell out of there. At the snap of the witch's fingers, however, he was paralyzed and fell to the ground.  
_

" _Confront yourself, Todd. Face yourself or be **damned**! **"**_

_Even as he spoke, Jason choked in pain and suddenly collapsed onto his knees. "What- what the hell have you done to me?!" he wheezed, doubling over as searing pain -pain that's equivalent was only felt once in his life- began to spread throughout his ribs. Jesus, was his lung on fire? He could hardly breathe._

_"A hex, Jason Todd," the Magician whispered, eyes smoldering with red flames. "Look."_

_Jason sputtered helplessly, blood dripping from his mouth in the process as he crawled toward a stagnant puddle. Whatever he expected before he peered into the reflection...it was nothing compared to the bile he felt rising and burning inside his throat now. It wasn't Red Hood's cold, bloody face staring back at him; in fact, his Hood was no where in sight now. The face in the reflection was Robin's._

 

 

Bruce and Dick gaped at him in disbelief as he finished his story. Jason stared a hole into the ground of the cave trying not to look back at them.

"He...cursed you, then? To look like this?" Dick forced out in disbelief.

"Yeah," Jason retorted quietly. "He told me that my outside would reflect what was on my inside since I couldn't learn to-" Jason grit his teeth bitterly before admitting the next words, "To _grow_ _up_." Dick's lips twitched and Jason threw him an angry glare which caused those big blue eyes to widen innocently. As if the bastard wasn't getting a kick out of this. Dick threw his hands up apologetically and Jason could visibly see him gulp.

"You think this is funny? He made me relive the worst pain I have ever felt and I had to walk all the way back to the one place I never wanted to see again looking like I came fresh from Ethiopia!" he snapped, making Dick grimace in shame and cast his eyes away.

"I-...I'm sorry Jay," he murmured softly, making Jason grunt angrily, boring holes into him with his eyes.

"You said he was a lord of chaos?" Batman interjected softly. Jason rolled his eyes; business as always.

"Yes, that's what I was told," he snapped back. Dick and Batman noticably exchanged glances and Jason frowned at them.

"You gonna let me in on who the fuck it was who did this to me, then?" Jason continued, irked at the elder two's silence. Dick sighed and Bruce grimaced with his lips twisted into a thin, grim line.

"Klarion the Witch Boy," he stated bleakly. Jason chewed the inside of his cheek hesitantly. He'd heard of Klarion back in his actual Robin days from the Young Justice. But...

"You've never met him, have you?" Dick asked a bit too gently, placing a hand on Jason's back. Jason's hair raised on the back of his neck and he shrugged his predecessor away indignantly.

"No. I was never-... I was only on the team for like, five minutes, so no," Jason replied, crossing his arms. "But are we sure its him? I heard Klarion had a cat. Tinkle, or something. I didn't see a cat." Batman frowned beside him and scratched his chin.

"Oh yeah!" Dick chimed, raising his eyebrows. "His familiar, Teekl. He could've just been hiding it; Teekl is a well known weakness for him, we always attack it on sight." Jason made a face at the older man; of course Golden Boy would spout off information like a god damn boy scout. He's still annoying as hell after all these years.

"Yeah. That, whatever," he grunted in agitation. The small, proud smile that had graced Dick's face fell into hurt and disapproval. He was obviously stung, especially since he's been getting the cold shoulder from Jason all night- or day, whatever time it was- but Jay fought back guilt stubbornly.

"I'm going to contact Doctor Fate then, and check the warehouse where Klarion attacked you," Bruce announced to them warily.

"I can help," Dick chirped up, "Let me just check out the warehouse with you, I can-"

"No," Bruce shut him down, sliding the cowl solemnly back over his face. Dick recoiled as if slapped, and Jason immediately felt a pang of pity for him. "You stay here and watch Jason. And since Alfred is out, you can be my eyes on the monitors, if you want" he conceded in a gentle tone. Dick glared resentfully and nodded, causing Jason in turn to roll his eyes and snort resentfully. Everyone here knew that Monitor Duty was a shit job when Batman was doing something with an actual objective as opposed to a patrol. But Dick was ever the boy scout. Goody-two-shoes or not, Jay still couldn't help the lingering sympathy for the elder boy. Without as much as a goodbye, Bruce- now Batman- strolled over to the Batmobile and in the next moment raced away, leaving the two boys silent and staring after in his wake. Ever the loner, that asshole. Jason almost would have preferred to be left alone, rather than be left with a mistreated, sad, defeated Dick Grayson. Still... He could work with these circumstances. Jason glared at the ground, trying to find the courage to speak while Dick remained quiet and still by his side.

"Dick," Jason called softly.

"Hm?"

"Will you please... _please_ untie me now?"


	3. Chapter 3

Dick stiffened and could be seen visibly chewing his lower lip in nervous contemplation. Jason watched him carefully, heart all aflutter with hope and anxiety. Golden boy would probably say no, but Jay wanted so badly out of this bed... cave... entire situation, whatever. He just wanted out.

"You know I can't, Jay," Dick finally murmured apologetically, not meeting his eyes. Jay felt a surge of hot anger in his chest before closing his eyes and suppressing a heavy sigh. In a moment of stark silence, the anger dissipated and left a hollowness in it's place instead.

"Then why are you here?" he replied, trying to sound even and calculated instead. He failed, and Dick's face twisted with guilt. "Even if I weren't restrained, I've got a punctured lung and a bunch of broken bones Not to mention that if it weren't Batman asking for a favor, Doctor Fate wouldn't help me in a million years. Are you really worried that I'll try to escape?" Jason continued, purposefully pushing Dick's guilt as far over the edge as he could manage. This time, to his surprise, it was Dick's turn to get angry.

"Just _shut up_ , will you?" Dick snapped, irritation clear in his voice as well as the same exhausted pain that Bruce had displayed earlier. "You've got a punctured lung, 4 broken ribs, 5 other ones bruised, your left arm is broken in two places and you've suffered 3 fractures on your _skull_ and _two_ concussions. Trust me, I'm _extremely_ familiar with the extent of your injuries, Jay," he continued with a pained voice, brushing his hand over his shirt, which Jason just now noticed was the same pressed, white shirt from earlier, now smudged and smeared with an alarming amount of blood and dirt. He even had a pretty clear print from Jason's hand on one of his sleeves; Jason grimaced as guilt of his own churned in his belly.

"You've also given us the slip before on almost every occasion we've seen you the last few years, and not to mention you've been a total shit to me since the moment you walked in, so just... _don't_ ," Dick finished with a shaky, needle sharp warning. His wide, blue eyes shone with both intensity and something else, something...gentler. Jason wanted to scream back, to fight and plead that his arms hurt and he just wanted to move, that the other times were _different_ , but... well, he should've realized he didn't garner much trust right now. Especially since, yeah, he had treated Dick with the cold shoulder since he collapsed at the front door. His throat constricted with burning conviction and anger.

"Fine," he conceded quietly, glaring at the floor to avoid the older man's daring gaze. He heard Dick let out a breath of what sounded like relief and possibly even _grief_. For a moment, neither of them attempted any further contact with the other and they let the moment stretch into an awkward, still silence.

"Are you-...are you hungry?" Dick finally asked, quiet and gentle now with his words. Jason's stomach rolled painfully at the question, and he shrugged and shook his head. He couldn't stomach anything right now even if he tried.

"Alright, but you'll have to fight Alfred on that later, he'll have a fit," Dick joked softly in return. Jason snorted silently and finally managed to look up at his predecessor hollowly.

"Can we just sedate me again so I can avoid that?" The joke was tasteless, for sure, but morbid enough to be considered humorous enough to Jason at least. Dick blinked and snorted with disapproval, but couldn't hide the faint twitch at the edge of his lips. Dick shook his head, however, and sank gracefully to sit on the bed by Jason's side. Jay stiffened reluctantly with discomfort and fought the urge to edge away. Dick raised his hands in a calm, white-flag gesture and gazed down at him with pleading baby-blues to stay by him. Groaning mentally, Jason sighed and relaxed a bit, allowing Dick to resume his spot and lay a comforting hand on his arm. He swallowed down the anxiety and even let himself lean into Dick's touch. Estranged or not, it was...nice... After all, Dick was the one who took him in and had taken care of him; showered him, medicated him and stood up to Bruce for him when he woke up. Even before all this, Dick had always offered a hand of peace every time they'd met and fought the last several years. Not even Bruce had done that the last couple of times. Jason's heart panged with guilt as he remembered the most recent time; Bruce had been thought dead. He'd stolen a Batman uniform and started a rage through the city, even nearly killing the Replacement and hurting Dick. The expression on Dick's face now so closely resembled the one he wore that day, all soft and shocked and hurt as Jay took a free fall into Gotham Bay over accepting Dick's forgiveness- Oh, Jason had been so _angry_ at him at the time. He wasn't looking for forgiveness or pity at the time, but better-than-thou Dick Grayson and his blatant need to love others just _had_ to try and offer it to Jason again. He was so kind... even now, more than Jason deserved and he felt... ashamed? Angry? Most of all, just... _confused_ , because _why_? Jason groaned at himself and Dick's face melted with concern.

"Jay?" Dick murmured gently with worry, letting his thumb stroke gently over Jay's forearm comfortingly. A shiver ran up Jason's spine, making him wince as his ribs constricted and ached sharply. "Jay, what is it?" He hesitated briefly before deciding to answer.

"I...just don't know why you've been so... _kind_ to me. I don't...really deserve it," he muttered back quietly, casting his eyes down to avoid the inevitable pity that would bloom on Dick's face. Instead, he felt the older man shift beside him and startled when lean arms circled around him, pulling him against Dick's chest in a careful but firm embrace. Jason could feel his own eyes bulging out of his head in surprise and he was rigid with discomfort (both physically from being restrained and emotionally from opening up, even if it was only a second), but after a seemingly timeless moment of raging uncertainty, he relented and buried his face.

Dick was warm and taught with muscle, Jason noticed, but not uncomfortable. He could feel the itch of the starched fabric and scrape of the dirt, but he didn't care. This moment was rare and made his chest ache and flutter all at once. It...probably would never happen again, if he was being honest with himself. But it felt so _good_. Instinctively, he went to wrap his own arms around Dick's torso in turn, but met the sharp tug of his cuff straps. Dick lifted his head for a moment with a surprised look of awe on his face. Jason flushed and opened his mouth to try and find some kind of wit to avoid the embarrassment, but came up empty. Dick didn't seem to mind; in fact, in the blink of an eye, he even snatched the cuff and all but ripped the buckle off before moving to do the same to the other.

"Dick-" Jason's throat burned with gratitude as his aching arms fell free from the straps.

"Shh," Dick hummed softly, shaking his head dismissively before drawing him with gentle urgency back into his arms. This time Jason met him wholeheartedly and let the moment last. He felt Dick bury his face in his hair and he felt goosebumps rise as the man's breath tickled his neck. Jason brushed his forehead against Dick's neck and swallowed thickly, breathing him in as the seconds stretched.

"You need a shower, golden boy," Jason finally murmured against the fabric of Dick's shirt, though made no move to let go. Dick chuckled below him and gave him one last, firm squeeze, making him grit his teeth and wince as his ribs bit him with pain. He was hardly complaining though.

"Why, do I stink?" Dick asked, pulling away with an easy grin. Jason mirrored his expression and nodded.

"Like a garbage truck," he confirmed gravely.

"Oops," Dick shrugged unapologetically.  "I've been making sure you stay alive the last couple of days, I've been busy after all," he joked lightly.

"Couple of _days_?" Jay gaped in shock. Dick twisted his lips in a tight, almost painful smile.

"Technically, just over 24 hours, but yeah."

"Wow," he admitted in awe. It's been that long...and Grayson still hasn't properly showered? Immediately, Jason's heart swelled with involuntary fondness.

"Um...Thank you," he continued sheepishly. Dick smiled and shook his head dismissively.

"Don't worry about it, Todd," he winked. Jason snorted at him and shook his head humorously. Jason was in the middle of retorting when he felt his stomach ache and constrict with hunger. His face constricted as he groaned and placed a hand over his belly. Dick frowned with concern at him.

"You said you weren't hungry," he scolded. Jason furrowed his brow and growled, rolling his eyes.

" _You_ were just starting to get on my good side," Jay retorted sarcastically. Dick scoffed lightly and gently stood to his feet.

"You want a sandwich? Some soup? ...Cereal?" he offered, face now melted into a kind smirk. Jason shrugged. A ham and cheese sandwich sounded absolutely wonderful, actually, and he felt his mouth begin to water.

"Can...you help me get up? I want to go to the kitchen to-"

"Not a chance, kid," Dick shook his head. Jason recoiled with an indignant, unabashed pout, which Dick chuckled at. "Cool down, I already broke one rule today, don't push it."

"What's one more, though?" Jay implored, trying to hide a smug grin. Dick stared in disbelief at him before shaking his head with silent laughter.

"You really haven't changed, Jay. And I'm glad," he whispered quickly. "But the answer is still no, Jaybird." Jason frowned in disappointment.

"Dickhead," he muttered under his breath, not missed in the least by Dick.

"Tell you what," he paused in contemplation. "Let me call Alfred and see if he's home yet. Maybe he can bring down a sandwich or something, that way I don't have to leave," he offered with a hopeful smile.

"Dude, you don't actually have to babysit me, I'm a grown ass man," Jason implored seriously. Or tried to anyway, but his voice cracked noticeably on the last word and he cursed himself. "You know...even if I don't look it."

"Or act it, either," Dick quipped with calculated amusement, causing Jay to roll his eyes.

"Give me a break, it's been a rough day," Jason tutted. "Just call Alfred then, and then maybe take a shower or a nap or something."

"We'll see," he smirked, finally pulling out his phone and hitting the speed dial and pressing the phone to his ear. "Hey, Alf. Yeah, he's awake."


	4. Chapter 4

It's lonely without Dick, Jason realized. The soft, flannel pajamas were more comfortable than he was used to. He'd even shucked the shirt and let it fall gracelessly to the carpeted floor. The pants by themselves were significantly less suffocating beneath the covers. It didn't help, however, that the corners of his bedroom -once familiar many years ago- were now looming and whispering with memories. The TV droned with a late night talk show to fill the silence and drown out the ghosts, but his mind was ever roaming. Some hours ago, Dick had donned his blue stripes to go out on patrol  with Robin #4 and Replacement. It had taken much insistence -both by the two youngest, Jason himself, and even _Alfred_ to convince the eldest to leave Jason's side. Not that it wasn't needed, because good lord it had been suffocating for Jason, and Dick _must_ have needed to stretch his legs, but being alone was almost worse. He was bored, surrounded by whispering memories, and antsy in the darkness by himself. Restless, he watched the clock -currently 3:16 am- and did the only thing he could do; _wait_.

. . .

" _Go on, dickhead_ ," he had urged with a roll of his eyes at the man. " _Thing 1 and 2 need your help more than I do right now. Go kick some ass._ "

"We could _really_ use your help without Bruce," Tim had continued earnestly. Dick had finally started breaking down by this point and could visibly be seen chewing his lip once again. Jason had never realized this was a nervous habit of his. But then again, he hadn't seen Golden Boy very often back in his Robin days, and he'd always kept a cool and collected exterior. It was probably because of Bruce, Jason realized, as he stared quietly at the elder boy. Dick, half-crazed with both the need to stay and temptation to go and protect his younger brothers, turned to Jason and caught his eyes. Jason's cheeks heated at being caught, but Dick didn't seem to pay it much mind since he was already heavily distracted. Yeah, no, Jason had never seen Dick like this. It was... _touching_ that the acrobat cared this... _much_ and didn't seem to want to leave him.

"Jay?" Dick hesitated, biting back reluctantly. Oh, he was torn, Jason realized. He didn't want to leave, but he also very badly wanted to go with them. Was it need? Obligation? Or just the yearning ache to make sure the other two -who were perfectly capable of defending their damn selves- would have back up? Dick Grayson, everyone; the ultimate Den-Mother. With a small, fleeting bite of disappointment in his belly, Jason decided to end the boor bastard's miserable guilt.

"I'll be _fine_ , Dickface. I can look after myself for a few hours-" a passive snort from Damian and a soft frown from Dick himself told Jay that was out of the question, "- _or_ I could just...call Alfred down? Let's be honest, if you're worried about me pulling any shit, Alfred's too good of a babysitter to let that happen," he insisted, cursing himself wildly, even with the sag of relief from Dick -and even Tim over at the edge of the small group. Go figure the Replacement wouldn't step anywhere near Jason. After several near-death experiences by his own hand, though, Jason couldn't exactly blame him.

"Do you think Alfred would mind?" Jason continued hesitantly when no one decided to actually reply to his suggestion. At the moment, it was all stares between the other three with silent conversation that Jason wasn't a part of. Dick turned away from the other two with a swift blink, and just as he opened his mouth to reply, his eyes caught something behind Jason's bed that caused a smirk to erupt. Jason heard the cool _bing_ of the elevator and knew what Dick -and now the others- were laughing at. Alfred must have supernatural hearing, he decided as the doors opened and Alfred's quick, even steps echoed across the cave.

"You boys are much too silent for my liking," Alfred commented with a refreshing smile as he stepped into Jason's view. Bless the old man, he had a silver tray of soup and crackers perfectly balanced with untold years of practice atop his gloved fingers. "I prefer it when you conspire out loud. What's the plan, sirs?" Jason snickered, both awkwardly and honestly at the whole situation. Especially, however, since Dick, Tim _and_ Damian all had the same crooked smile plastered and badly hidden on their own faces.

"Grayson needs some fresh air, we need back up for patrol, and Todd needs a babysitter, but they won't stop making eyes at each other. Would you babysit the Hood-lum until we return, Pennyworth?" Damian responded before anyone else could. Tim snorted to everyone's, including his own surprise. Even beneath his domino, it was easy to tell his eyes were wide with surprise as he tried to stifle the giggle.

Jason's jaw hung agape with outrage and acute embarrassment that for a moment, rendered him absolutely speechless. Dick however, laughed it off easily.

"Oh, Dami, you made a _pun_ , I'm so proud of you!" he grinned widely as he reached to ruffle the youngest's hair. The sight was so earnest that, for the first time since Jason had arrived, he realized it was without a single trace of melancholy.

" _What_? I go out of my way to _insult_ you and _that's_ what you get from it?" came the indignant reply. With a blink of exasperation and a twisted feeling in his gut, Jason's attention was torn away from the bickering pair by Alfred himself. The butler sported an amused smile as he propped the legs out and set the tray over Jason's lap. The display, of course, was perfect; silverware polished, crackers evenly spaced in a semi-circle around a spotless, white, porcelain bowl filled with chicken noodle soup, and a crystal clear glass filled with sparkling water. The man had even graced him with a green bendy-straw already in the cup and some aspirin resting beside it, just in case. Jason's heart swelled with gratitude and he offered Alfred a thankful smile.

"You're the best, Alf," he murmured quietly. Alfred beamed, because they both knew that despite all the trouble from day 1, Jason had always been fond of the butler and was always appreciative of his kindness no matter the circumstances.

"Nonsense, Master Todd. Tuck in, please. I'll deal with the mob," he winked. Jason followed orders with zest and watched as Alfred approached the other three. He felt almost like a spectator at a theater now, imagining the soup replaced with popcorn and Alfred as the lion tamer in a flashy outfit as bright as Tim's red tunic.

"Ahem," Alfred coughed gently, instantly interrupting the verbal war between the youngest and eldest. All attention was on the butler now. " _If_ I may have your attention-" the _If_ wasn't negotiable, of course "-Master Dick, I'd be happy to stay with Jason for the night until you return. I know you're worried, as are we all, but Master Damian was right when he said you need a break. You've barely moved since Jason's arrival, and frankly we're lucky he convinced you to shower. If I might, I do insist you go out on patrol for everyone's sake, eat something terrible for you that you enjoy, and take another shower afterwards. Until then, I'll tuck Master Todd into his room nice and cozy that way I can watch him while I clean the manor, and you can see him when you return." Dick's face, initially wrought with hesitation, melted into a quiet relief. He even flashed one of his winning smiles and nodded, much to the exclaimed relief of Tim and Damian. Jason, however, was wrestling with newfound anxiety as he chewed his now-tasteless noodles.

 _Upstairs_? In the _manor?_ In his old... _room_? Jason's heart was pounding roughly in his chest, and he tried very hard not to squirm in his sick bed for fear of causing unnecessary pain to himself. He hadn't seen his old room in years. Hell, the last glimpse he had of his old home at all was when he collapsed in the doorway. Hadn't they already gutted his old room yet? All he could picture was an empty and cold void with protective white sheets over the bed and dresser underneath thick layers of dust. Or worse, was it just the same as he'd left it, down to the dirty socks in the hamper, bed left unmade... also suffering from the same spooky, musty sheet of dust?

"Okay, then. Alright," Dick nodded his consent. "Let me help get him up." Jason's hackles raised as all eyes returned to his general area. Dick and Alfred moved toward him with gentle expressions to either side of his bed. Oh god, Grayson wasn't about to carry him bridal-style up the elevator was he? Jason groaned inwardly in a panic and in a flash raised up his good hand to stop them in their tracks. Tim arched a brow and tilted his head from behind Damian to get a better look.

"I, um... appreciate the gesture, guys, but... I think I can walk," Jason insisted, voice cracking and infuriating him further. He didn't miss the broad smirk of Robin the youngest, and he threw a scowl at him in response. At least Jason's voice  _could_ crack, even if it was for the second time in his life. Alfred and Dick exchanged rather alarmed looks, but after a beat, allowing the two of them to approach the sides just in case Jason fell, Alfred consented a single, curt nod. Jason exhaled in relief as Alfred removed the half-eaten tray of food from his lap. Briefly, he thanked the merciful stars that his _legs_ weren't actually broken.

"Are you sure about this, Jay?" Dick was all rigid and tense, holding his breath as Jason used his good arm to pull himself into an upright position.

"I hobbled for miles just to get here the other night. I'm sure I can manage a couple of hallways," Jason quipped indignantly, letting his legs fall one at a time over the edge. He heard Dick suck in a worried breath as Jason lifted himself onto his feet, and if he was being honest with himself, Jason grit his teeth to prevent a whine from escaping as his ribs and skull throbbed in protest. He wobbled for a moment, Dick reaching and biting himself back constantly as Jason steadied himself, before flashing Dick a smug smile. Dick's face washed over with relief instantly.

"Well, if you're going to take all night getting him upstairs, then we're just going to head out and you can join us when you're ready. Okay, Dick?" Tim smirked, not without amusement. Damian quickly voiced his agreement and Dick waved them away with a round of "Yeah, yeah," and "Okay, okay". By the time they had excused themselves out of the cave, Jason had managed a few shaky steps with Dick and Alfred accompanying him all the way.

"If you don't mind," Jason murmured softly now that the youngest two were out of earshot, "I can still walk, but I wouldn't say no to, er...some assistance." Dick blinked before a small but brilliant smile erupted on his beautiful features.

"Oh, if you insist," he winked, sliding his arm underneath Jason's good one gingerly for Jason to lean on. Alfred hummed approvingly on his other side but said nothing as they walked in silence into the elevator, all the while still holding Jason's unfinished meal. As the elevator doors slid shut, Jason's anxiety built once again as the desolate pictures of his old bedroom returned to his mind's eye. He must have been making some kind of face, because Dick frowned down at him. Mercifully, however, he said nothing; instead, he felt the man's grip around his forearm tighten encouragingly. Jason offered a pained smile, which turned out to be more of a grimace, but hey, he tried. Low as his spirits currently were, however, he felt a small flutter his the depths of his belly. The elevator _binged_ coolly once again as they finished their ascent, opening to Bruce's study on the ground floor. Now this, Jason realized, had definitely changed. The grand, oak desk that had belonged to Bruce's father and matching book shelves were still present, but they were rearranged. A new seating arrangement with burgundy cushions and a glass table had been added underneath a grand portrait of an aerial-view of Gotham herself. Jason smirked to himself; of course Bruce had a picture of Gotham. He saw it this way every single night, yet still hung it up on his wall just because it was his one true love. Jason wanted to roll his eyes at the thought, but at the same time couldn't deny the twinge of nostalgic fondness that swept over him. Out of sight, out of mind, however, he reminded himself as they exited the study. They still had to climb the stairs to reach the bedrooms and Jason was quickly getting tired and uncomfortable from moving.

They passed the front hallway and through the sitting room, and eventually,  _finally_ made it to the stairs. He hadn't seen anything new in the short, but exhausting trip, but Jason _had_ squeezed Dick's arm during the last three or four steps because his chest was starting to constrict with pain. He decided not to address it, however, and stoically ignored Dick's subsequent smile.

His room -or _old_ room, he reminded himself- was the third door on the left, all the way at the end. He smiled when he remembered picking it; it had been the easiest one to escape since the hallway window was right next to the trellis leading into the garden below. Oh, Alfred had scolded him _so_ many times. He peaked at Alfred as they approached it, and Alfred -who didn't fail to notice- winked slyly at him. As they came to a stop outside Jason's old door, Alfred opened it and stepped aside to allow the two boys to go on ahead.  Jason couldn't suppress another wince, this time due only to the anxiety clawing its way up his throat and pounding in his skull.

The suspense only lasted long enough for him to step through the threshold; when he saw his room, he almost collapsed with _relief_. It wasn't the empty, echo-y waste he had imagined initially, nor was it like stepping into a bad, dusty ghost of a photograph. The room was _clean_ , he realized. And of course it was, Alfred would have _cleaned_ it, even if it had taken a period of time to grieve first. Or...maybe it had even been Bruce. Jason shook _that_ thought away instantly, preferring not to go down that particular road. The bed had fresh, white linen sheets and plump pillows; the walls were still covered in movie posters and Band paraphernalia -the Killers, Nirvana, Scarface, Star Wars, all the works-, and every surface from the bed to the desk and dresser were immaculate, not even a trace of dust. The carpet even had vacuum tracks as evidence that the room was well kept. Jason eyed Alfred suspiciously.

"You didn't just clean in here because I'm here, did you?" he accused. Dick paid them no attention, as he was busy marveling the posters and pictures littering his walls and desk. Jason, however, did not miss Alfred's cheeks turn ever so slightly pink.

"I merely assumed you'd be staying with us for a time, and as this room wasn't on the roster until next week, I decided to prepare it sooner for you," he stated calmly, tilting his chin up in both mild indignation and pride. "It is, of course, maintained regularly otherwise." Jason snorted, but his heart softened at Alfred once again. All this time... he'd kept Jason's room ready for him.

"It's like stepping into a time capsule, these bands are so _old_ ," Dick remarked with humor. "You'd be considered a hipster nowadays." Jason scoffed and shook his head, breaking away from Dick and stepping into his room with pride.

"First of all, if retro is in, then I'm cooler than you are now," he winked, and Dick gasped mockingly. Alfred smirked and quietly set the food tray down on the bedside table. "Second, I don't know what a 'hipster' is, so piss off."

" _Language_ , please, young Master," Alfred scolded, frowning gently. Dick snickered at him and Jason chuckled.

" _Ooh_ , he used the 'Language,' against you. He hasn't gotten onto us for _that_ in _ages_. Even _Damian_ ," Dick giggled. Alfred himself couldn't help but grin.

"I scold Damian more than you think, Master Dick, but never for inappropriate language. He's rather refined in comparison to you two growing up," he joked heartily at them in reply.

"Yeah, yeah, we were complete juveniles back in the day," Jay rolled his eyes, regretting his words instantly when Dick and Alfred's smiles fell into grimaces as the reality of Jason's age and history returned. He hadn't realized how much they had been immersed in the illusion of his younger appearance.  Jason himself, had started to buy into it, too. For a moment, a surge of anger welled in his chest, but he sighed and quickly drowned it into a heavy wistfulness that he'd well in later. "Anyway, seriously, what are hipsters?" Dick blinked quizzically at him, then chuckled loudly. All at once, the breath that everyone had been holding was released.

"A bunch of nostalgics who romanticize life. It's hard to explain," Dick attempted. Jason frowned, definitely puzzled. "Tell you what, Jay. I'll show you Instagram when I get back, and maybe it'll explain a little bit better," he chuckled.

"Insta..gram?"

"Oh, wow, you've missed so much," Dick laughed breathlessly and Jason shrugged helplessly. Dick bit his lip remorsefully and decided not to pursue the subject. "A-anyway, Jaybird, I need to go get ready. You'll be okay?" Jason felt hollow now, his sunken mood made worse now that Dick was _leaving_.

"Go on, dickhead, I'll be _fine_ ," he insisted dryly. Dick sighed and nodded, yet lingered several awkward, unnecessary moments before finally making his exit.

"Shall I stay and help you into bed, sir?" Alfred broke the silence innocently. Jason blinked at him and hesitated. He glanced at his bed sheets, already pulled back for him by Alfred -bless him.

"No, that's alright. Can you turn on the TV, though?"

"Certainly, sir."

. . .

The floorboards creaked and Jason jerked awake, causing him to yelp when his ribs protested angrily.

"Shit! Sorry, Jay," Dick whined in the dark from by the door. He noticed the TV was now off and that Dick, still clad in his fingerstripes though sans the domino, was sneaking out of the room.

"Don't be," he mumbled sleepily, rubbing his eyes with his good hand and glancing at the clock. It was 5:10am now, according to the green digits glowing from his desk. "How was patrol?" Dick turned back toward him, hesitant at first, but Jason was already pulling himself upright in bed and Dick sighed as he made his way back toward him.

"I forgot how rough Gotham could be. I've gotten to used to Bludhaven," he chuckled warily. That was when Jason noticed for the first time that Dick was bleeding from his arm. Jason straightened up immediately in alarm.

"Relax, Jay, it was just a stray knife, I'm fine. It's just a flesh wound," he reassured, placing a hand on Jason's shoulder. Jason frowned and switched the bedside lamp on, leaning in for a better look. The cut was on his shoulder and it wasn't deep, thankfully.

"It just looks like a lucky shot in a weak spot of your armor is all. Come on," Jason muttered gruffly, shuffling off the bed and taking Dick's hand to lead him to the adjoined restroom. He flipped on the overhead lights, momentarily blinding the two of them.

"You don't have to do this, Jay. You should go back to sleep, I'll get Alfred-"

"Shut up and take your clothes off," he demanded as sight returned slowly returned to him, replacing the grogginess. Dick blinked at him strangely and it took Jason a solid second to realize what he'd said. "Haha, you're hilarious, dickhead. Seriously, come on," Jason griped, unable to prevent his cheeks from burning. Dick smirked and moved to unzip and shuck the suit down his shoulders to free his arms. In doing so, he revealed a smooth, naked chest; it beheld clearly defined pectorals, toned abs peaking through where he left the zipper. Jason tore his eyes away and opened a drawer to fetch a wash rag and a first aid kit. Most of the medical supplies were in the cave, but due to their line of work, it was customary, of course, that first aid kits be kept in _all_ the bedrooms for this exact reason. Jason had used this one in particular _many_ times. He wet the rag in the sink and whipped back around to press it against the wound gingerly. Dick winced, but otherwise remained still while Jason patted him down and cleaned the dirt and sweat away from the laceration. Despite the grime, he caught a whiff of Dick's hair and could still smell the generic soap used earlier in the cave; a shiver ran down Jason's spine and he groaned inwardly. Maybe it wasn't a great idea to be in such close quarters with Dick like this. It was making him... _feel_ strange. Still, Dick's head was turned to the side, which gave Jason free access for his eyes to roam up and down his neck and sculpted back. He was dabbing a cotton swab with rubbing alcohol when Dick finally spoke again.

"Jason, I can see you checking me out in the mirror," Dick murmured. Jason faltered in his movements with a panic as he remembered that the mirror above the sink where Dick was facing still existed.

"Your ego's talking, Grayson," Jason played it off non-chalantly, refusing to meet the man's gaze as he replaced the used cotton swabs with neosporin. "Do you think everyone's checking you out when receiving medical attention?" The muscles in Dick's neck flexed as Jason applied the antibiotic before turning to meet Jay face to face. Dick was close...extremely so, and Jason's breath caught in his throat. Hell, he could feel Dick's breath on his cheek now, and Jason was frozen.

"Your pupils are dilated," Dick observed softly, blue eyes glowing with intensity. Jason's breath hitched momentarily before he tore his gaze away with an awkward cough.

" _Your_ wound is still open. Let me bandage it," Jason commanded, desperately trying to avoid the subject as he hastily snatched some gauze out of the kit. "Even if I were," he continued as an afterthought, "you've never minded attention before." Dick smirked and gave him a look that he'd never seen before. Not from _him_ at least, and it sent shivers straight down into his loins.

"Forget the bandage, Jay," Dick whispered silkily, leaning in towards him. Jason stilled, completely enthralled. "Maybe I am reading into things a bit much. I _did_ just get off patrol, after all, and I'm a little... _tense_. Am I wrong about this?" A gloved hand snaked itself across Jay's throat and up to his cheek. Jason's mouth went dry and after a moment, he shook his head, never breaking his gaze away from Dick's.

"Good."

Dick's lips were on his in a rush of heat, tender and sweet at first, then deepening as his fist knotted in Jason's hair. Jason's eyes fluttered closed and he moaned softly against the elder man. He wanted this. Every fiber, every nerve was lit like fire and he wanted so much more. Dick straddled him and Jason groped his hips in need. He could feel Dick's lips pressing against his jaw and nipping down his neck now, and Jason mewled like a kitten.

"Oh, Jay," Dick whispered into his ear with desire.

" _Jason_."

" _Jason_."

. . .

Jason's eyes flew open once more with his heart hammering and- oh, _shit_ , there was a _mess_ \- he realized, groaning loudly at himself in disdain. It was a _dream._ A fucking _dream_ , and it was about god damn _Dick_. He was shaking with adrenaline as he covered his face with his hands. Fucking _great_ , now _this_ shit was happening again. He thought this had passed a long time ago. Being back here was messing with his head. He shifted his position in aggravation and then froze when he felt soft breath gently caressing his cheek. He turned his gaze and- jesus, there was Dick, curled up innocently by his side. Jason gaped at the man; he wasn't in his uniform, merely some sweats and a white t-shirt. There was no cut on his arm either, but he did have a frown on his face in mid-dream.

" _Jason_ ," Dick murmured quietly, reaching out to touch Jason's arm. He stiffened in awe when, at Jason's touch, Dick's face relaxed and he fell peacefully back into deep slumber.

Dick had come back to _check_ on him and....fell asleep on his bed. Jason blinked, struggling to wrap his head around it. He glanced at the clock -5:27am- before swallowing thickly and resting uneasily back against the pillow, never taking his eyes off of the other man. He looked so much younger like this, like the Dick he knew in his youth. How long had he been sleeping here? Jason bit his lip and closed his eyes. He shouldn't wake him up right now... he'd probably only just gotten to sleep, anyway. He steeled himself with resolve and tried to get his heart rate back down to a reasonable tempo.

He had to clean himself up, and perhaps change pajamas- No, he realized. He might have too much trouble because of his broken body and make too much noise.

" _Fuck_ ," he whispered in resignation, settling underneath the covers and squirming against the uncomfortable wet spot on his pants. He'd have to deal with it. He turned on his side, facing away from Dick to hide his embarrassment, even _if_   the man was sleeping. He just...couldn't face him right now. He felt Dick's arm wrap around his chest and Jason squeaked in surprise, but made no move to resist. Oh, this was going to be _unbearable_ , he groaned to himself. His heart wasn't going to relax anytime soon, but...as the seconds passed and Dick's warmth enveloped him comfortingly, he felt his eyes slowly start to grow heavy once again.

He'd never tell Dick what happened, and probably wouldn't let Dick sneak in on him like this again, but... Just this once, he decided. Just this once, he'd let himself have this. He smiled, and his eyes closed into sleep once more.


End file.
